scentbombed | Entry 23: Video

((Sorry I had to drop a couple of the baby Angua threads, guys. If anyone didn't get to thread with her and wants to have had something happen, let me know and we can work it out OOC.))

[Immediately after waking up in the infirmary post-that-flood-where-she-tried-to-eat-everybody, Angua fled to the CES to enjoy her death toll in privacy as a wolf. As soon as the ship landed, she decided that wasn't fleeing far enough and bolted out to the far reaches of Wonderland. In other words, this is first time anyone's seen her face in a while, and she looks pretty guilty about that.]

So listen, I know this is quite belated, but I'm really very sorry to anyone I may have, er. Mauled. I'm much better than that now, I promise.

[Private to Satsuki]

[Not that she's expecting this will make much difference, but...] And I'm especially sorry to you. I heard you're doing all right, though? The infirmary said.

[Private to Buffy and Dean]

Thank you. You were right to do it. [Even if it's going to take her a while before she can look either of them in the eye, and not only out of embarrassment; the memory of the silver going into her back is going to stay with her for a long time.]

[Private to George]

...Hi.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Admiral should have those room sprayed. [ Not that she has anything against fleas in general, but they can carry diseases. ]

No, I mean not here. Where I used to live. It's rather more... medieval, I think, you call it.

And after I left-- those people, that life, behind... [She glances away for a half a second, lips thinning briefly.] --there was rather a bit of making my own way involved.

I did not know you ran away from home.

[She nods quietly.] When I was fifteen. They were getting more extreme by the day, and I had already started to realize what monsters they -- we -- were being. And then...

...there's something called a yennork, I think they only exist in my world, but they're werewolves who can't change. Always human, or always a wolf. My parents had one of each: two full werewolves, a girl and a boy, a human yennork -- my sister -- and my brother the wolf. [This is only the fourth time she's ever told this story, but her voice stays calm and even, if a little distant. Her eyes are on the ground.] Anyway, Wolfgang, the werewolf, he killed my sister. So Andrei and I left.

[ Satsuki listens quietly, as she always does. She doesn't really know what to think about it. ]

What about your parents?

[She snorts, voice dripping with bitterness.] What about them? [And that sort of says it all, as far as she's concerned.]

What happened to the rest of your family after you left? [ She's not sure if she cares or if she's only curious. She hasn't had any family herself for a very long time. ]

Nothing. Andrei ran away and hid in Borogravia, I went to Ankh-Morpork by way of a dozen other places, and the rest of them stayed up there and festered in the stupid castle. Eventually Wolfgang tried to make his stupidity into a political movement and my commander killed him, and everyone was happier for it.

[ She nods her understanding. Makes sense. ]

Computers are never so cruel or foolish.

[She looks up at that, raising a brow; her voice is a little sharper than she intends, but maybe this needs to be pointed out:] What about Beast?

[ That makes her pause for a moment. In her own strange way, she cared for Beast. She probably still does. She's just starting to realize that it hurt that he turned on her like that. ]

I am unsure what changed him.

But he did change. He hurt you. [She's getting a kernel of an idea, here, something lighting in the back of her eyes. Cruel to be kind isn't her favorite motto, but if it works...]

[ She averts her eyes, remembering the physical pain of her own death. ]

He did.

If he showed up tomorrow, would you trust him?

No, probably not. Why do you ask?

I'm just supposing that there's less of an us and a them than you'd like there to be. You think people let you down, yes? That we'll hurt you. Well, he hurt you, but how much have I heard of that since we paired up? Computers are this and that, better than silly people. So obviously it's not quite so black and white. Just as it wasn't for me.

So you wish me to recognize that everything and everyone is equally likely to hurt me.

Well, yes, actually. Or equally likely not to, being the necessary followup.

I do not find that comforting.

Why? Because it means you've got to actually get to know the people you interact with instead of just trusting them blindly?

Because it means that I am alone, even in death. [ Like she's going to get to know people. ]

Not if you put some bloody work into not being.

Why? There is no one of interest to me here.

Well, those are your options, I'm afraid. They're the same as anyone has.

Entry 23: Video

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