Entry 9: Video

[scentbombed]

[Well, nothing to cheer a lady up like suddenly growing a-- n interesting new flood! Do not adjust your speakers, fair viewers: it's not that Kirk has suddenly developed an unusual accent, it's that Angua von Uberwald has suddenly developed a handsome 5 o'clock shadow and a whole lot of other things.

He sort of looks like he's trying not to die laughing.]

All right, lads. Does anyone have a spare set of trousers around? Some of you may already have discovered this, but ladies' leather breeches are not made to accommodate.

Comments

[gotgreenmagic]

....

[Brain pain. Ow.]

I could go wake up your clone. What's your opinion on unflattering uniforms in horrible colors?

[scentbombed]

That I spend most of my time wearing one anyway. What do you mean, clone?

[gotgreenmagic]

Point. I mean Jim Kirk, the guy in the room next door to mine who looks identical to how you do right now.

Ordinarily. I don't know how he/she looks right this second.

[umgekehrt]

[...she knows that Combine-ish accent. And she looks a bit bemused.

Then again it took her until her second cup of coffee to remember she was happily considering herself a he with parts to match as of yesterday. It's possible she's not operating on full thrusters yet this morning.]

Sorry, Captain. Mine changed along with me. Mind, given the difference in size they'd likely fit. They'd take you funny in the hips, though. [Because she's still 6'6 and built like a brick wall. Just a brick wall that needs a bit more room under her shirt and below the torso.]

[scentbombed]

Oh gods, Stildyne? [In Angua's world, "built like a brick wall" is sometimes a literal definition, and Stildyne does in fact sort of put her in mind of a lady troll.]

Well, I suppose it's a good thing your clothes changed. You'd have a hell of a time finding new ones.

[umgekehrt]

[With all the glorious scarring to boot, and the longer hair doing no duty to hide her smashed cheekbone, because why would you hide that kind of loveliness.]

I believe it. Rest dress would have fit but I don't want to walk around the ship in toed socks and trousers with more fabric than my usual uniform combined.

Which said; if you need something to stay decent, you're welcome to them.

[damnitjamie]

Why are you talking like that? And what happened to your normal pants?

[scentbombed]

Sorry, do I know you?

[damnitjamie]

Stop being an ass, Jim. I'm not really sure Angua's gonna appreciate you mimicking her.

[captain_jtkirk]

Huh.

[scentbombed]

...well.

Who are you actually?

[captain_jtkirk]

Jim Kirk.

I can honestly say I never saw this coming.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Not made to accommodate what?

[Only one of them has asked you this, but there are two nearly identical faces staring through the comm at you, and someone appears to have punched both of them.]

[scentbombed]

The bits that my trousers don't provide allowance for. Sorry, are there two of you?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Two blank faces. You say: bits that my trousers don't provide allowance for, the guy from space thinks: maybe you have a tail.

Charlie, the smaller head, looks at Scrad, the larger head.]

Not that we're aware of.

[Scrad looks at Charlie, and then back at the communicator.]

We just got here.

[ichoosefight]

[ Pause for laughter. ]

Hold on, hold on, let me get a good look at you.

[ . . . More laughter. ]

You look like Kirk! Oh man, this is great. Who are you really? I can't tell.

[scentbombed]

[Angua really can't be offended, because she's finding the whole thing just about as funny as everyone else. She's even smirking along.]

It's Angua -- not that anyone else on this ship really sounds like they're from Uberwald. But who are you?

[ichoosefight]

Steph. Or apparently now I'm Stephen, according to Dick.

[huge_egomd]

Dare I ask why you're wearing ladies' leather breeches in the first place?

Not that I'm judging or anything.

[scentbombed]

I'm actually not wearing much of anything right now. [And, indeed, the camera is determinedly showing only above the waist.]

[huge_egomd]

Then maybe my question should've been...why do you not have anything to wear other than ladies' breeches?

[darknessb4me]

You two just switched? Admiral's getting lazier.

[Wait, you dress like a 18th century normal person, maybe this can work.]

What size do you need?

[scentbombed]

Er. A... medium or thereabouts?

[flashy_magic]

I have some lady's leather pants altered to have a bit of extra bulge room in the front.

[scentbombed]

Well, that's one way of dealing with it.