Entry 9: Video

[scentbombed]

[Well, nothing to cheer a lady up like suddenly growing a-- n interesting new flood! Do not adjust your speakers, fair viewers: it's not that Kirk has suddenly developed an unusual accent, it's that Angua von Uberwald has suddenly developed a handsome 5 o'clock shadow and a whole lot of other things.

He sort of looks like he's trying not to die laughing.]

All right, lads. Does anyone have a spare set of trousers around? Some of you may already have discovered this, but ladies' leather breeches are not made to accommodate.

Comments

[gotgreenmagic]

....

[Brain pain. Ow.]

I could go wake up your clone. What's your opinion on unflattering uniforms in horrible colors?

[umgekehrt]

[...she knows that Combine-ish accent. And she looks a bit bemused.

Then again it took her until her second cup of coffee to remember she was happily considering herself a he with parts to match as of yesterday. It's possible she's not operating on full thrusters yet this morning.]

Sorry, Captain. Mine changed along with me. Mind, given the difference in size they'd likely fit. They'd take you funny in the hips, though. [Because she's still 6'6 and built like a brick wall. Just a brick wall that needs a bit more room under her shirt and below the torso.]

[scentbombed]

That I spend most of my time wearing one anyway. What do you mean, clone?

[scentbombed]

Oh gods, Stildyne? [In Angua's world, "built like a brick wall" is sometimes a literal definition, and Stildyne does in fact sort of put her in mind of a lady troll.]

Well, I suppose it's a good thing your clothes changed. You'd have a hell of a time finding new ones.

[gotgreenmagic]

Point. I mean Jim Kirk, the guy in the room next door to mine who looks identical to how you do right now.

Ordinarily. I don't know how he/she looks right this second.

[umgekehrt]

[With all the glorious scarring to boot, and the longer hair doing no duty to hide her smashed cheekbone, because why would you hide that kind of loveliness.]

I believe it. Rest dress would have fit but I don't want to walk around the ship in toed socks and trousers with more fabric than my usual uniform combined.

Which said; if you need something to stay decent, you're welcome to them.

[scentbombed]

Does he really? I suppose I didn't notice.

How are you getting on?

[scentbombed]

Apparently I've a clone on board, or I guess he's got me now. But I'll take you up on it, if that doesn't come through, thanks.

I'd return the offer, but... [But as a woman, Stildyne is still roughly twice her size.]

[gotgreenmagic]

What, with the rearranged equipment? Not my first time.

[umgekehrt]

I thought I recognized that pretty face. Kirk, isn't it. We haven't spoken much. [A nod]

The sentiment's appreciated, anyway.

[damnitjamie]

Why are you talking like that? And what happened to your normal pants?

[scentbombed]

Any advice? I'm still baffled. [Seriously, dudes: she found your junk hilarious before, but now, even moreso.]

[scentbombed]

I see some things haven't changed. I was wondering if you'd start complimenting me, instead.

[scentbombed]

Sorry, do I know you?

[damnitjamie]

Stop being an ass, Jim. I'm not really sure Angua's gonna appreciate you mimicking her.

[umgekehrt]

Well, you're looking particularly decorative today. If you felt left out.

[A half a smirk.]

But my tastes are largely as they were. Bar the logistics.

[scentbombed]

I actually am Angua, though. If I were Kirk, I'd... [She awkwardly tries to affect an American accent.] ...sound more like this.

Well, no, probably not.

[scentbombed]

I suppose I walked into that, a bit.

On the other hand, my tastes didn't change, so why should yours? Now I get to be you. Except no one's here for me to, er... [Don't say 'taste.'] Well.

[umgekehrt]

Distressing shift in the barge's population, I agree. It'll take the fun out of life for you. But if you're really playing me, some of Arkady's coffee will ease the sting.

[damnitjamie]

[SIGH.] Well that's fucking weird. Sorry, Angua.

[captain_jtkirk]

Huh.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Not made to accommodate what?

[Only one of them has asked you this, but there are two nearly identical faces staring through the comm at you, and someone appears to have punched both of them.]

[ichoosefight]

[ Pause for laughter. ]

Hold on, hold on, let me get a good look at you.

[ . . . More laughter. ]

You look like Kirk! Oh man, this is great. Who are you really? I can't tell.

[gotgreenmagic]

Avoid waist-high objects and try not to overthink it. It'll only be a few days.

[scentbombed]

...well.

Who are you actually?